Home Study - Check!

We are officially finished with our home study! The awesome adoption preparation director at MLJ Adoptions, Brooke Randolph, dropped off the notarized copies yesterday. It was an unexpected and pleasant surprise to have her drive all the way over to our home to drop it off. Brooke has been simply wonderful through this entire process, and we're so thankful to her for all of her help.

Even though the home study is complete, our work is not yet done. In fact, we're gearing up for another round of filling out paperwork. This time, we're trying to find the funds to pay for the adoption! Part of that means applying for grants.

And we're still feverishly trying to find other ways to raise money for the adoption. As a reminder, please visit www.justlovecoffee.com/TheWhitfields to order some coffee and support us in our efforts. We will receive a portion (albeit a small one) of all the coffees sold through our personal web page. If you're not a coffee drinker, consider buying some and giving it to a co-worker, a friend, a family member, your pastor, your mailman. You get the idea! And we welcome any and all other ideas for fund-raising!

We do know that our profile has been presented to four birth-mothers, most of whom are out of state. Out-of-state adoptions are a good bit more expensive so that means we might need even more money than we initially anticipated. We will be creating an account through LifeSong for Orphans where people can make tax deductible contributions to support our efforts. So, look for that announcement soon.

Back to the birth-mothers reviewing our profiles: As I said, there are four possible matches and five possible children! One mom is expecting twins. The earliest arrival in any of these scenarios could be as soon as January 17th and the latest not until May. Of course, there is always the very real possibility that none of these will come to fruition. So, in every case, we wait.

I must confess that the wait has become much harder than I thought it would be. There are times I'm fine with it but knowing there are four possible matches and then not hearing an update makes the wait almost unbearable. But we are both trying to remain positive and focus on preparation. While we're trying not to get too engrossed in details, we are starting to think about things like strollers, car seats, formula and other newborn necessities.

So, while things continue to move, it feels like we're stagnant! Please continue to pray for us through this journey and pray for the birth mother and child as they also face challenging times.

Happy New Year! All good things...

For the love of coffee...

Now that our home study is complete - we are waiting for the final document(s) to be approved - we are gearing up for a full-fledged assault on the cost of the adoption!

Please take a minute to check out our online "store" at Just Love Coffee, an organization which provides fair trade (and delicious) coffees from a variety of places. A portion of the company's proceeds go to support an orphanage in Ethiopia, where the founder adopted two of his children. Just Love Coffee also provides an opportunity for fund raising for those who are in the adoption process. We have our own secure, online store where you can order the coffee of your choice, and from each order, we will receive a portion of the proceeds. Please consider ordering from our site and help us in our efforts. And, if possible, please tell others about it!

Here's the link: http://www.justlovecoffee.com/TheWhitfields

Thank you so much for your continued love and support!

Home Study Documents

The home study is in full swing! We have been gathering documents and making copies! It's been a rather interesting process, and as I shuffle all the pieces of paper around, I am very thankful that we don't have as much document gathering to do as our friends who have done or are in the middle of an international adoption. Probably the most fun I am having is completing the autobiographical statement. Of course, being a writer makes it exciting because in some way, I get to tell a story! And I get to go down memory lane to do it. It's also made me thankful for all the hurts and healing that's happened in my life.

I visited with my doctor's office today to get a physical, another part of the home study process. My Nurse Practitioner, Kelley, said she's filled out a number of these types of forms for folks interested in adopting. And she noted that it seems so incredibly difficult to get through the adoption process while so many others are popping kids out left and right and probably shouldn't even be allowed to procreate much less try to raise a family. Unfortunately, for those of us who want desperately to have a child, we are the ones struggling to prove that we are worthy of parenthood while others should be ashamed to call themselves parents.

Hopefully we can complete everything by the end of this week. And then we get to have our interview with Brooke, the Director of Adoption Preparation for MLJ Adoptions.

In the meantime, nothing new on the baby front... still waiting.

And I ask for specific prayers for our good friends, Mark and Diane Goins, who are in a battle to win a favorable decision by a judge in Ukraine to bring home Katarina and Nathaniel. It's been an emotionally and spiritually challenging journey for them, but they are such an inspiration. In the face of it all, they continue to lean on our Lord, and they continue in obedience. This battle is about so much more than the children, but it is the children who need a wonderful family like the Goins's. Please pray fervently for them.

Fundraiser I - Complete

I can't remember the last time I participated in a garage sale but, I can assure you that I had no recollection of it being such a huge task! But then again, I wasn't using the garage sale as a fundraiser for the adoption of our child either!

Wow! I am still so overwhelmed with everything that's happened in the last couple of weeks. Our first fundraiser was a success. We made about $1700 in two days of selling, selling and even more selling. We still have lots of leftovers but plan on making good use out of those items through donations and other fundraising efforts.

We are so humbled and thankful for the tremendous and overwhelming support we received from so many people. Many gave of their belongings; giving clothes, furniture, electronics, and special mementos for us to sell. Several folks came to help sort and price, and a few more helped during the actual sale with set up, tear down and giving us a few minutes of respite during both days. We truly couldn't have done this without them.

I must say that I am a bit surprised at the result. First, we certainly weren't expecting to make so much money! How wonderful!! And the people I truly expected to be there and help us weren't there. That saddens me greatly. But that sadness and disappointment is replaced with great joy because there were many unexpected helping hands, and we are so grateful.

Maybe I'm wrong for even noticing that aspect of things. But my emotions have been all over the place these last couple of weeks. And part of me wants to remember every single detail - good and bad - so we can one day share them with our little one. The tremendous effort put into making this a reality has been like giving birth. I will never know the pain of labor, but I have gladly labored in many other ways to bring a child into our family.

To add to the ups and downs, we were introduced to a potential match last week. We spoke with a birth mother who wanted to learn more about us and consider us as possible adoptive parents for her baby boy, due in December. The conversation was brief but exciting. We have no idea what's going to happen from here but it doesn't matter. God already knows the outcome, and we're at peace knowing it's all in His faithful Hands.

So, now we sort through the remaining garage sale items, look for other ways to raise funds, prepare for a home study, and wait for the redemption of God's chosen child for us.

Available For All To See

Our parent profile has been finalized and goes "live" tomorrow (Saturday, August 1st). We are now on display for all birth mom's to learn more about us and consider us as adoptive parents. Wow. This is such an amazing time for us. We're thrilled with progress so far, and we're humbled to know that God has already picked out our child for us.

Just because the parent profile is finished doesn't mean our work is done. Far from it! Now we need to prepare for our Home Study. But before we do that, we've got some decorating that needs to get done. We have to figure out which room will be the nursery. Which room will then become the guest bedroom? Can we combine my office and Kurt's and still let him have his "man cave"? Once we figure all of that out, we need to paint two of the rooms and lay new carpet. Then we need to rearrange the furniture.

We are blessed that we have a home big enough to have this dilemma!

Oh, and then there's the fund-raising. Our first big attempt at raising some cash comes on August 21st and 22nd with a gigantic garage sale. We've already gotten so many donations from so many people and hope to receive more. And, of course, we hope to sell it all and make some serious cash! LOL!

We'd like to go ahead and apply for loans and/or grants but that can't happen until we have our Home Study. But we can't have our Home Study until we get the rooms taken care of. And we probably can't get the rooms taken care of until we raise some cash! It's one of those never-ending circles.

There's so much going on, but we're so thankful we get to experience this. And I'm so thankful for Kurt and all he's doing to help in these efforts. He's going to be an amazing father!

Until next time...

Guest Blogger - MLJ Adoptions

This blog was written by my friend, Brooke Randolph. I met Brooke through Smaller Indiana (www.smallerindiana.com). Our initial meeting was to discuss a book project on Posttraumatic Stress Disorder. Brooke is a licensed therapist and is experienced in the treatment of trauma. But through our conversation, I learned that she is also the Director of Adoption Preparation at MLJ Adoptions, Inc. I asked her to prepare a blog about what newcomers to the adoption process might expect. I hope you find this as informative as I did! And a special thanks to Brooke for her willingness to share her insight.

Those choosing to adopt a child for the first time often have no idea what to expect. The staff at MLJ Adoptions try to answer every question as fully as possible, but often with adoption, especially intercountry adoption there is not an exact answer to give. Laws may change, governments may change, fees may change, flights may change, and all of these things (and more) are out of our control. Adoption can be a journey that is made easier by faith, hope, flexibility, and a sense of humor.

You can expect to feel overwhelmed at some point. There are many steps involved, much to gather, and lots of forms (this is a legal process where we work with multiple governments with international adoption). We make every effort to give you the information you need at the moment you need it and then break it into manageable steps. Take your time to read things carefully. The answer to your question is likely in front of you. It is also important to know what you are signing. If you get overwhelmed by the information presented, take a break and come back to it later rather than starting to skim or giving up. Or you can start at the beginning and follow directions one paragraph or sentence at a time. It may be tempting to work ahead, but timing can be important in this journey. When taking on tasks that require several steps, such as gathering the documentation needed for your home study, it may help to divide and conquer - delegate certain tasks to one parent or the other.

You can expect some stress as you deal with things that are out of your control. Part of our educational program (http://www.mljadoptions.com/Homestudy.aspx) discusses how to manage stress as you wait, prepare, and adjust to life with a child. Further information and tools can be found on my website (http://www.brooke-randolph.com/Courses.aspx). Make sure that you are taking care of your physical health, and your mental health will benefit. Take deep breaths and learn to quiet your mind. Utilize your support team and find as many reasons to laugh as possible. It is perfectly ok to have questions or concerns.

You can expect to discover how adoption has touched the lives of many around you. It is amazing how much you learn from and about others when you talk about the things you experience and the things about which you are passionate. You can expect to be blessed by those who want to support you through this journey. However, there will be people who do not understand. However, there will be many who will be excited for you. You can expect opportunities to grow, to learn about yourself, to make new friends, and to discover new passions.

The majority of the time everything works out wonderfully; however, there may be unknowns and complications along the journey. If you can keep your expectations low, you are more likely to be pleasantly surprised. At the end you will have a wonderful story to share with others, including your new child.