The home study is in full swing! We have been gathering documents and making copies! It's been a rather interesting process, and as I shuffle all the pieces of paper around, I am very thankful that we don't have as much document gathering to do as our friends who have done or are in the middle of an international adoption. Probably the most fun I am having is completing the autobiographical statement. Of course, being a writer makes it exciting because in some way, I get to tell a story! And I get to go down memory lane to do it. It's also made me thankful for all the hurts and healing that's happened in my life.
I visited with my doctor's office today to get a physical, another part of the home study process. My Nurse Practitioner, Kelley, said she's filled out a number of these types of forms for folks interested in adopting. And she noted that it seems so incredibly difficult to get through the adoption process while so many others are popping kids out left and right and probably shouldn't even be allowed to procreate much less try to raise a family. Unfortunately, for those of us who want desperately to have a child, we are the ones struggling to prove that we are worthy of parenthood while others should be ashamed to call themselves parents.
Hopefully we can complete everything by the end of this week. And then we get to have our interview with Brooke, the Director of Adoption Preparation for MLJ Adoptions.
In the meantime, nothing new on the baby front... still waiting.
And I ask for specific prayers for our good friends, Mark and Diane Goins, who are in a battle to win a favorable decision by a judge in Ukraine to bring home Katarina and Nathaniel. It's been an emotionally and spiritually challenging journey for them, but they are such an inspiration. In the face of it all, they continue to lean on our Lord, and they continue in obedience. This battle is about so much more than the children, but it is the children who need a wonderful family like the Goins's. Please pray fervently for them.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
New Web Site
As the wait continues, we continue to do what we can to get the word out. We have created a new web site which we hope will reach a wide audience of potential birth mothers. Please take a look and let us know what you think. http://www.ktandbabymakesthree.com.
This web site is birth-mom directed and will maintain a bit of autonomy for us. But we appreciate your willingness to share it with your friends and family. I will be updating the blog on that site often, so feel free to check back regularly or sign up for RSS feeds.
We're also still in the fund raising process. We still have a couch for sale, and we've reduced the price - again! It is now $75, but we'll take whatever we can get at this point!
We will soon begin exploring other ways to raise funds but we can assure you it will NOT be another garage sale! :-)
We continue to thank you for your constant prayers and support. We couldn't do this without you!
Monday, October 5, 2009
The Wait
I have said it before, and I'll say it again. In fact, I'll quote Tom Petty because he said it so eloquently in his song: "The waiting is the hardest part."
I've never been pregnant, but in many ways, I feel like adopting has to be worse than being pregnant. At least a pregnant woman knows the E.T.A. for their child. We don't even know if our birth mother is pregnant yet, and that means we don't know when the child will join our family.
I believe I have been fairly constant in remaining patient in the midst of the wait. I keep reminding myself that God is working behind the scenes, and even though I can't see it, everything has already been set in motion. The few times I have wavered in my calmness, I felt guilty. I beat myself up thinking that I'm not being a strong enough Christian if I doubt or allow a crack to weaken my wall of faith. So, I straighten myself up and remind myself of God's awesome promise, and that He never fails. And that pep talk usually works. Until today...
Earlier this afternoon, I heard a news report that a baby had been found dead in a dumpster. This is when my faith wavers. How? Why? Why would a mother (or father) just let a baby die? Don't they know there are people out there who desperately want to add a child to their family but can't? Don't they know there are people who would willingly take their child if they just don't want it anymore?
In this age of technology and education and resources, why would someone allow death for their child? And yet there are still too many irresponsible people thinking only of themselves in the midst of their chaos - chaos they probably created.
I never dreamed that some day my whole soul would ache so much for a child. Sometimes I feel like the love I already have for our child is so overwhelming that I just can't breath. And this is only the beginning!
There is a purpose for everything, but time is standing still in my life right now. Every minute without a child feels like a moment of lost living. I know I can't put my life on hold (and I don't) but it's just knowing that someday... but not knowing when that someday will be. And in the meantime, another baby dies needlessly.
I've never been pregnant, but in many ways, I feel like adopting has to be worse than being pregnant. At least a pregnant woman knows the E.T.A. for their child. We don't even know if our birth mother is pregnant yet, and that means we don't know when the child will join our family.
I believe I have been fairly constant in remaining patient in the midst of the wait. I keep reminding myself that God is working behind the scenes, and even though I can't see it, everything has already been set in motion. The few times I have wavered in my calmness, I felt guilty. I beat myself up thinking that I'm not being a strong enough Christian if I doubt or allow a crack to weaken my wall of faith. So, I straighten myself up and remind myself of God's awesome promise, and that He never fails. And that pep talk usually works. Until today...
Earlier this afternoon, I heard a news report that a baby had been found dead in a dumpster. This is when my faith wavers. How? Why? Why would a mother (or father) just let a baby die? Don't they know there are people out there who desperately want to add a child to their family but can't? Don't they know there are people who would willingly take their child if they just don't want it anymore?
In this age of technology and education and resources, why would someone allow death for their child? And yet there are still too many irresponsible people thinking only of themselves in the midst of their chaos - chaos they probably created.
I never dreamed that some day my whole soul would ache so much for a child. Sometimes I feel like the love I already have for our child is so overwhelming that I just can't breath. And this is only the beginning!
There is a purpose for everything, but time is standing still in my life right now. Every minute without a child feels like a moment of lost living. I know I can't put my life on hold (and I don't) but it's just knowing that someday... but not knowing when that someday will be. And in the meantime, another baby dies needlessly.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Raising Funds and Other Stuff
It's been a while since we had our fundraising garage sale, and believe it or not, we just now got all the leftover's out of our garage! We had the best of intentions! Really! First I thought I'd sort through some of the "nicer" items and take them to consignment shops in an effort to increase the balance in our adoption fund checking account. Well, that was a waste of time!
Consigning has to be the best scam out there. I spent a lot of time carefully looking through so many items, making sure they were in terrific condition. I also had a lot of super nice business clothing that was donated from friends. When I say nice, I mean - Jos A. Banks kind of nice! So, surely these things would sell at a consignment shop, right? Nope. If I walked out with five bucks in my pocket, I was lucky! And the baby/children consignment stores were even worse! I eventually gave up from the frustration.
And just last week, we arranged for a local organization called Quest for Excellence to pick up the remaining items so they could be distributed to the folks they help. (Quest for Excellence provides transitional housing, programs, support services and educational support for at-risk, homeless and special needs population.) Yippee!! Our garage can now accommodate one vehicle!
Maybe that was God's plan all along. He knew there were people in greater need than us so the consignment idea didn't work out. We are thrilled to know the things that so many friends donated to us will be going to good use.
Beyond that, we have a couple more things we need to get rid of and we're hoping to be able to sell these bigger ticket items.
First, we have a really awesome couch that was recently re-covered. Visit our post on Craigslist to view a picture and get a better description. (http://indianapolis.craigslist.org/fuo/1372764509.html)
We also have an exercise machine. The Pilates Performer JP is available for just $50! (What a steal?!)
And finally, we were given a wedding dress from a young lady in our neighborhood who said she wanted us to sell it and put the money toward our adoption fund. (Wow! We're still blown away by this generous gift.) We have no idea how much to charge for it but that will soon be available as well.
Please let us know if you or any of your friends have an interest in any of these items.
Beyond the selling stuff, we remain in wait mode until God presents us with another potential birth mother match. We covet your prayers and appreciate all the support we've been given and continue to receive.
Consigning has to be the best scam out there. I spent a lot of time carefully looking through so many items, making sure they were in terrific condition. I also had a lot of super nice business clothing that was donated from friends. When I say nice, I mean - Jos A. Banks kind of nice! So, surely these things would sell at a consignment shop, right? Nope. If I walked out with five bucks in my pocket, I was lucky! And the baby/children consignment stores were even worse! I eventually gave up from the frustration.
And just last week, we arranged for a local organization called Quest for Excellence to pick up the remaining items so they could be distributed to the folks they help. (Quest for Excellence provides transitional housing, programs, support services and educational support for at-risk, homeless and special needs population.) Yippee!! Our garage can now accommodate one vehicle!
Maybe that was God's plan all along. He knew there were people in greater need than us so the consignment idea didn't work out. We are thrilled to know the things that so many friends donated to us will be going to good use.
Beyond that, we have a couple more things we need to get rid of and we're hoping to be able to sell these bigger ticket items.
First, we have a really awesome couch that was recently re-covered. Visit our post on Craigslist to view a picture and get a better description. (http://indianapolis.craigslist.org/fuo/1372764509.html)
We also have an exercise machine. The Pilates Performer JP is available for just $50! (What a steal?!)
And finally, we were given a wedding dress from a young lady in our neighborhood who said she wanted us to sell it and put the money toward our adoption fund. (Wow! We're still blown away by this generous gift.) We have no idea how much to charge for it but that will soon be available as well.
Please let us know if you or any of your friends have an interest in any of these items.
Beyond the selling stuff, we remain in wait mode until God presents us with another potential birth mother match. We covet your prayers and appreciate all the support we've been given and continue to receive.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Match Update
We found out today that we're back to square one with the adoption process. The birth mother we spoke to a couple of weeks ago has chosen another family to adopt her child. For them, we are thrilled. And we are excited to know that her child will have a good home to go to. For us, it's a little bittersweet.
I don't know that either one of us was absolutely certain of this particular situation for a variety of reasons but we were certainly willing to explore the opportunity. And even though there were some initial questions on our part, we were at peace with moving forward. Perhaps it's mothers-instinct that kicked in but I never really thought we would be chosen. And yet, now that we know we weren't chosen, it's incredibly disappointing. In some ways it feels like finding out you're not pregnant. You know, you go through a few days of nausea, not starting on time and when you finally take that test, the indicator says "Not pregnant".
Our attorney says the birth mother was happy with our profile and that her choice was likely made because she spoke to the other couple before she spoke to us. It feels good to know that we were in the final running but at the same token, it's hard not to take it personal. I have spent so much time over these last few weeks sorting through newborn clothing and items to sell at the garage sale, then re-sorting to take some of those items to Once Upon a Child or to Crisis Pregnancy Center that my heart was getting more and more attached to the idea of being a mother. For each batch of items I took to Once Upon a Child, I'd wander around the store, fingering the tiny newborn items and marveling at the wonder of a new life. The pull of motherhood, wanting to hold a baby in my arms... has been simply overwhelming.
It's hard not to get attached emotionally. I love a child I haven't even met yet with every fiber of my being. I know the risk involved in this adoption process but I also know the reward will be more beautiful than anything I could have ever imagined. And I must keep reminding myself that God is STILL in control.
On a side note: Please be in prayer for our wonderful friends, Mark and Diane and their three kids as they travel to Ukraine tomorrow to redeem the little girl God has chosen for them. (And who knows, maybe there's more than one child waiting for them?!) They have waited a long time, and we wish them only God's best.
I don't know that either one of us was absolutely certain of this particular situation for a variety of reasons but we were certainly willing to explore the opportunity. And even though there were some initial questions on our part, we were at peace with moving forward. Perhaps it's mothers-instinct that kicked in but I never really thought we would be chosen. And yet, now that we know we weren't chosen, it's incredibly disappointing. In some ways it feels like finding out you're not pregnant. You know, you go through a few days of nausea, not starting on time and when you finally take that test, the indicator says "Not pregnant".
Our attorney says the birth mother was happy with our profile and that her choice was likely made because she spoke to the other couple before she spoke to us. It feels good to know that we were in the final running but at the same token, it's hard not to take it personal. I have spent so much time over these last few weeks sorting through newborn clothing and items to sell at the garage sale, then re-sorting to take some of those items to Once Upon a Child or to Crisis Pregnancy Center that my heart was getting more and more attached to the idea of being a mother. For each batch of items I took to Once Upon a Child, I'd wander around the store, fingering the tiny newborn items and marveling at the wonder of a new life. The pull of motherhood, wanting to hold a baby in my arms... has been simply overwhelming.
It's hard not to get attached emotionally. I love a child I haven't even met yet with every fiber of my being. I know the risk involved in this adoption process but I also know the reward will be more beautiful than anything I could have ever imagined. And I must keep reminding myself that God is STILL in control.
On a side note: Please be in prayer for our wonderful friends, Mark and Diane and their three kids as they travel to Ukraine tomorrow to redeem the little girl God has chosen for them. (And who knows, maybe there's more than one child waiting for them?!) They have waited a long time, and we wish them only God's best.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Fundraiser I - Complete
I can't remember the last time I participated in a garage sale but, I can assure you that I had no recollection of it being such a huge task! But then again, I wasn't using the garage sale as a fundraiser for the adoption of our child either!
Wow! I am still so overwhelmed with everything that's happened in the last couple of weeks. Our first fundraiser was a success. We made about $1700 in two days of selling, selling and even more selling. We still have lots of leftovers but plan on making good use out of those items through donations and other fundraising efforts.
We are so humbled and thankful for the tremendous and overwhelming support we received from so many people. Many gave of their belongings; giving clothes, furniture, electronics, and special mementos for us to sell. Several folks came to help sort and price, and a few more helped during the actual sale with set up, tear down and giving us a few minutes of respite during both days. We truly couldn't have done this without them.
I must say that I am a bit surprised at the result. First, we certainly weren't expecting to make so much money! How wonderful!! And the people I truly expected to be there and help us weren't there. That saddens me greatly. But that sadness and disappointment is replaced with great joy because there were many unexpected helping hands, and we are so grateful.
Maybe I'm wrong for even noticing that aspect of things. But my emotions have been all over the place these last couple of weeks. And part of me wants to remember every single detail - good and bad - so we can one day share them with our little one. The tremendous effort put into making this a reality has been like giving birth. I will never know the pain of labor, but I have gladly labored in many other ways to bring a child into our family.
To add to the ups and downs, we were introduced to a potential match last week. We spoke with a birth mother who wanted to learn more about us and consider us as possible adoptive parents for her baby boy, due in December. The conversation was brief but exciting. We have no idea what's going to happen from here but it doesn't matter. God already knows the outcome, and we're at peace knowing it's all in His faithful Hands.
So, now we sort through the remaining garage sale items, look for other ways to raise funds, prepare for a home study, and wait for the redemption of God's chosen child for us.
Wow! I am still so overwhelmed with everything that's happened in the last couple of weeks. Our first fundraiser was a success. We made about $1700 in two days of selling, selling and even more selling. We still have lots of leftovers but plan on making good use out of those items through donations and other fundraising efforts.
We are so humbled and thankful for the tremendous and overwhelming support we received from so many people. Many gave of their belongings; giving clothes, furniture, electronics, and special mementos for us to sell. Several folks came to help sort and price, and a few more helped during the actual sale with set up, tear down and giving us a few minutes of respite during both days. We truly couldn't have done this without them.
I must say that I am a bit surprised at the result. First, we certainly weren't expecting to make so much money! How wonderful!! And the people I truly expected to be there and help us weren't there. That saddens me greatly. But that sadness and disappointment is replaced with great joy because there were many unexpected helping hands, and we are so grateful.
Maybe I'm wrong for even noticing that aspect of things. But my emotions have been all over the place these last couple of weeks. And part of me wants to remember every single detail - good and bad - so we can one day share them with our little one. The tremendous effort put into making this a reality has been like giving birth. I will never know the pain of labor, but I have gladly labored in many other ways to bring a child into our family.
To add to the ups and downs, we were introduced to a potential match last week. We spoke with a birth mother who wanted to learn more about us and consider us as possible adoptive parents for her baby boy, due in December. The conversation was brief but exciting. We have no idea what's going to happen from here but it doesn't matter. God already knows the outcome, and we're at peace knowing it's all in His faithful Hands.
So, now we sort through the remaining garage sale items, look for other ways to raise funds, prepare for a home study, and wait for the redemption of God's chosen child for us.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Garage Sale Reminder
Well, we're one week away from the big garage sale. Our home is in complete disarray, and it's only going to get worse after this weekend when we pick up more furniture and other items being donated for the sale. We are SO incredibly thankful and humbled by the overwhelming support of so many people who have already donated items. Of course, we're always looking to add to the stuff we've already got, so if you want to give us some things you no longer need or want, just let us know! We'll gladly take whatever you've got.
And as a reminder, please tell all your friends about our sale. It's scheduled for Friday and Saturday of next week, August 21st and 22nd from 8 am until 4 pm (both days). We'd love to see you there, and we'd love for you to find an awesome new treasure (or several!). Donations will also be accepted.
Again, we are blessed and overwhelmed. And we give God all the glory!
And as a reminder, please tell all your friends about our sale. It's scheduled for Friday and Saturday of next week, August 21st and 22nd from 8 am until 4 pm (both days). We'd love to see you there, and we'd love for you to find an awesome new treasure (or several!). Donations will also be accepted.
Again, we are blessed and overwhelmed. And we give God all the glory!
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