The Profile

One component of the domestic adoption process is completing a profile which includes a variety of photos and details about the adoptive parents. The profiles are reviewed by birth mom's. The profiles are written in such a way that should give the birth mom an idea of who her child's potential parents could be. From the profile, the birth mom decides who she would like to meet and consider further for the placement of her child.

Ok, that sounded rather clinical didn't it? Well, that's sort of how I feel about this part of the process. As a writer, I have never written a more important document in my life! But how can I possibly tell the woman who may give up her child to my care for the rest of its life everything there is to know about our family in just a few pages of black ink? Kurt and I are so much more than what we put down on paper. Kurt said he felt like he was co-writing a resume. And just as in a job search, I am confident that, if you met me in person, you'd love me! You'd want to hire me immediately. Or you'd want me to be the mother of your child!

We have completed our profile, which took a lot longer than I thought. I'm an emotional writer so I was pretty happy with what was written early on. Kurt is the perfectionist so it took him a bit longer! But his additions were simply wonderful. It also took a long time to put our photos together. I look too big in that one. Ewww... I'm not wearing make up in that one. Oh, I like this, except he has his eyes closed. Why can't we find a picture of us with the dog and the cat together? Oh yeah, the cat doesn't like the dog so putting them next to each other long enough to take a photo would simply be... ugly.

But I think we finally got it. It's in the hands of the agency/lawyer now. Well, actually it's in God's Hands. I can't even begin to imagine having to make this type of decision in the first place but then to make the decision based on a few pieces of impersonal paper and fuzzy photos in what can only be described as marketing material. It's just beyond my wildest imagination, and in some ways, I grieve for the mother. The helper in me wants to make this an easier process but I know I can't.

Right now all I can do is pray that we have portrayed ourselves accurately without sounding superficial or sterile. And that what we have written will be intriguing enough to bring us to parenthood.